Humor and stories for interpreters: Riddles
David Bar-Tzur
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: Why can't a deaf person be sent to prison?
A: Because you can't condemn someone without a hearing.
: What do you call a deaf teacher?
A: Anything you like, he can't hear you.
: If an interpreter signs something in the forest and there are no Deaf people to see her, is she still wrong?
A: Only if she accepts payment.
re you a professional?
The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a "professional."
1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.
2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Open the refrigerator put in the elephant and close the refrigerator? Wrong!
Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.
3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?
Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. This tests your memory. OK, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.
4. There is a river you must cross. But it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it?
Correct Answer: You swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.
According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals tested got all answers wrong. But many preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four-year-old.
: How many terps does it take to change a light bulb?
A: I can't tell you; it's confidential.
A: Ten. One to do it, and nine to tell them how they would have done it differently.
A: Ten. One to do it and nine to say "that's not how we do it where I'm from."
A: Three. One to change it, one for feedback, and one to yell unwanted advice from the audience.
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